Kegel All the Way Home

Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy (RRP) is a very large term for removing a very small organ. Like any surgery, there can be unwanted side effects, but this one includes, among others, incontinence (oh joy) and erectile dysfunction (oh joy joy). These are usually temporary, but could be longer lasting, even permanent. Yikes. The good news is that I can help my recovery immensely and reduce the risk of these nasty complications by doing Kegel exercises.

Women are probably more familiar with Kegel exercises than men. This is understandable, because for men to exercise something, it better be able to grow larger and be tattooed, otherwise it's not worth the effort. This also explains our reluctance to exercise our brains, good judgement and, of course, caution. Yes, doing so would reduce ER visits nearly by half, which would be good for our gender, but bad for the economy. So, you're welcome, glad we can do our part in the recovery.

The Kegel muscles are a part of the "pelvic floor", two words most men would never think to combine, let alone exercise. I checked my Bowflex manual; no mention of Kegel muscles (or pelvic floor, for that matter). No such free weight exercise, either; at this point, I'm still not convinced Kegel exercises exist. Enter Google. Google tells me I can "find" my Kegel muscles while urinating, by "shutting off" the stream. This was obviously written by a woman, since for a guy, once we start, we have absolutely no desire to stop. In many ways this is very similar to our behavior towards sex, including the length of time it takes us to do either. They are also supposedly the muscles you use to hold in a fart; again, something no real man would ever willingly or knowingly do, so no point of reference here, either.

But I'm a "good" patient, so I've been doing these exercises since I read about them. My pelvic floor muscles are now capable of crushing my own prostate (kind of a do-it-yourself RRP). It also strengthens your sphincter - so I'm ready for my next DRE (digital rectal exam). And I promise you - someone's gonna lose a digit. Peace.